Steal these jokes

I am in the midst of a week-long trip to New Orleans. One thing I did not realize was this: A week in New Orleans is a lengthy time because of the reveling lifestyle all around me.

All thing considered — I'm inspired. I liken myself to a writer, and I have enjoyed reading "Poking a Dead Frog" by Mike Sacks. The book features "conversations with today's top comedy writers," and it's entertaining and informative.

When I was reading an interview with Carol Kolb and Will Tracy of "the Onion," I thought, "Wait a minute. I could write these headlines for the Onion."

So on the flight to New Orleans, I quickly came up with 20 possible headlines for the Onion, and here are my 10 favorite of those in no particular order:

Aunt repeatedly uses ‘FML’ to abbreviate family on Christmas newsletter

Redneck arrested for punching Jackson Pollack painting

One month ‘relationship’ ends over comfortable shoes comment

Area man screwed by accidentally buying organic lettuce 

Kanye to protest music industry by changing name to ‘Singer Formerly Known as Prince’

Local husband joins mile-high club — alone

Son flabbergasted by mom’s 47 open apps

Area boy memorizes pi to 1,000 places; virginity remains intact

Pete Townsend pissed as he finally gets fooled again

Man fails to clean Easter bunny costume for 12th consecutive year

Eh, I enjoy coming up with these and feel I may do this more often. It's easy and fun for me. Feel free to steal any of these jokes and have fun with your friends and family (FML).