Do we truly understand how we love?

Love can be a scary thing or a wonderful thing, and I bet we all can benefit from understanding it better.

However, a lot of people — especially men — don't open themselves to a deeper understanding of love. But their lives would be a lot more enriching if they did.

A while back a friend recommended How We Love (2006) by Milan and Kay Yerkovich, but because my relationship with my Dina felt like it was clicking on all cylinders, I opted to read How We Love Our Kids (2011).

The book helped me because I often had a problem with one of my daughters. She did things differently, and I sometimes felt flabbergasted that she didn't do things my way. I was a bit controlling, and How We Love Our Kids made me realize that it was perfectly fine that my daughter did things her way.

The one thing that used to trigger me is that my daughter didn't like to be hugged. I'm a hugger! Fuhgeddaboudit. I would practically shame her when she recoiled from my hugs, and years later, I must admit how wrong I was. It's OK not to hug.

How We Love Our Kids made me realize the many different ways we give and receive love, and it is wrong to expect others to fall in line with our style — especially our children.

I must report that my relationship with my aforementioned daughter is better than ever, and I feel it takes maturity to admit that my approach with her was off for years. It turns out that whenever there is a difficult relationship between an adult and child that it is almost always the adult's issue. Who knew?!?

Now, I must temper How We Love Our Kids. It's not perfect by any means. It's not a cure-all, and I actually disagree with some assertions here and there in the book. However, it was a good conduit for me in my effort to be a good dad. It's worth a read, for sure.